Why write about this day? Itís just redundant.
Any other day of the year would be better
Why not September 26th? Is there a law somewhere?
ďRunaways and injured menĒ is whispered in my ear
Is that what I am? I look to the bottom of the glass.
Why do I still care so much?
Often I stare at the stars, crane my neck
Do you know what she said to me?
ĒThey never have the answersĒ
Sheís right. Itís Ďcause they canít speak.
So it still vexes me, even though some time has passed
I dislike this feeling as much as I like it
Nothing seems to make sense right now
I walk at half the pace I used to, with my head down
The heaviness pulling at me
Iím lucky to have these strong pillars to hold me
They should know I appreciate it
Theyíre the only things stopping me from falling
For a while I felt really shit and stupid
Now I feel less shit (but the same amount of stupid)
Only one person holds the answer
But his fist is wrapped so tightly, but its okay
I know who he is, he just has to talk, reach out
I only wish he knew how to
Because my neck hurts too much to coax him.
-Rajeev Mishra (12.08.02)
Just Like Before
I think Iím going nuts
Why havenít you told her yet?
You donít know how much it cuts
I know you donít,
Iíll make a bet
With the world, Iíll lay a challenge
But in the end, it wonít matter
Iíll be alone, sentinel, like Stonehenge
And heíll hold the pearl
And Iíll feel all my bones shatter
How does their mind work?
Itís something weíll never know
Things in darkness lurk
But is that such a bad thing?
I see the southern winds blow
As I raise my sail, I look out to her
sheís standing on a distant shore,
Suns not bright, if only it were
An arm wraps her shoulder
And my body bleeds to its very core.
And so this Friday Iíll drink a pint or two, again
Maybe three will help this time
The whole world just seems so plain
now that I missed the boat once more
At least I can still remember the line
On which I spoke that night before
Before I said all the stupid regretful things.
they donít seem so regretful anymore
thanks to my friends, I can see
As they help me up on their white wings
And so tomorrow Iíll see that oyster,
just like before anything ever took place.
Iíll feel my throat dry without moisture
Iíll sit with them, inside it will differ
But Iíll still joke and laugh with the same face
Itís not for all of them, this faÁade
Just one in particular, the one with the flower
Sometimes I wander into my front yard
And star at the night sky forever
And wish the answers on me would shower
But they donít.
Rajeev Mishra (13.08.02)